Whatever You Say, Say Nothing

Writing exercise, autumn 2008

Administrator — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:27:15 +0000

Green once, but grey-brown now. Stiff, like my limbs. Mottled like the backs of my hands. Spotted with experience, with exposure to the world. Curled up to gain shelter or because the sap no longer flows? The veins are full of dust now. Things crack under pressure - whole now but one careless move or a foot misplaced could bring the end. No longer springing forth from the branch, waving to the skies, anchored by the sappy green pliable stem, what awaits is the dustcart, the compost bin or a slow disintegration back to the loamy soil from which a new green bud will arise. Still existing, but still.

Post Swansea post

Administrator — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 21:25:00 +0000

Well, Charlie, Debz and I all ran the Swansea Admiral 10k on 28th September - loud cheers all round! It was a lovely day, warm and bright, unlike me who, having recovered from a rather painful hip bursitis the previous week, felt distinctly slow and unfit! The other two were stars though, running in their first race (I sound like an old lag - my fourth!) and providing endless encouragement and cheer as well as a variety of strange foodstuffs to sustain me. We decided we’d try to organise an annual fundraising run for the bursary fund here and encourage anyone who’s ever thought of taking part in a race to join us - watch this space for next year’s event!

Yesterday I found in a notebook something I wrote some time ago when I was reading "Enlightenment Unfolds. The Essential Teachings of Zen Master Dogen". Dogen’s great koan was something like "If we already possess Buddha-nature then why is practice necessary?" His answer to this was "Practice is Enlightenment". The notes I’d made were "… maybe this is like thinking that climbing to the top of a big hill would be a good way of getting fit. The top of the hill can be seen as the goal, but it’s only setting our foot on the path that allows enlightenment to unfold. If we keep longing for the pinnacle, we don’t notice that our body is getting stronger and fitter all the time, with every step. We don’t actually want the top of the hill - what we want is how we will be when we finally get there". Time to get the shoes back on.

Thought

Administrator — Tue, 19 May 2009 20:58:45 +0000

Ten things someone somewhere will be doing at the time I die:

deciding what to have for supper

digging in their garden

reading a newspaper

wondering what their lover’s doing

feeling annoyed about the weather

worrying about a piece of work they haven’t finished

sunbathing

driving very fast in a car

getting married

writing a poem

lady of the flies

Administrator — Wed, 06 May 2009 16:52:20 +0000

Ok, here is the previously alluded-to bit about dealing with flies when you’re out running. Yes, those winged things that hang around in big groups (ha ha accidentally typed ‘bug’ groups just then!) at this time of year. We know they’re necessary for the breakdown of matter etc etc but, let’s be honest, nobody really likes them much (ok then, so let me know if you’ve got a pet one). So here’s the scenario: I’m out running on the road parallel to Talybont Reservoir - a beautiful spot with trees overhanging the road on one or both sides for several miles. I’m enjoying the view. I’m even enjoying running and have got to the point where I’ve worked up a respectable sweat. I’m not hyperventilating and my ankles, knees and hips all seem of a mind to support me. It’s a lovely spring/summer evening and life feels very rich. Then a fly appears, in the vicinity of my face. It likes me. In fact it likes me a lot - much more than I like it, that’s for sure (ok, some artistic licence here in the form of projecting human feelings onto to insects in a somewhat emotive way). It won’t go away - in fact it dances unerringly around my line of vision, attempting at intervals to land on my skin. I’m swiping at the fly and this is interrupting the rhythm of my running to an alarming extent. I might even end up in the ditch (if you think this is an exaggeration, try waving your arms around in front of you while running. unstable, huh?) I’m starting to talk to it in a less than friendly manner, breaking more than one speech precept. My rational mind knows that the fly is simply behaving in accordance with its nature. It also has a lot more to fear from me than I do from it. In a short time it will be gone. Yet this small creature, behaving in this way, has the power to make me feel - I must be honest here - enraged. It’s doing it on purpose. Doesn’t it realise this is the one bit of the day I have to myself, my creative thinking time, my being-alone-with-my-reflections-on-the-day time ?? (yes. it’s dawning on me too - I’m reading too many "motivational" running books). That fly is out to ruin my day and it’s going to pay. Oh my god - its friends are joining in now!! This is dangerous. I’m speeding up now. In fact I’m heading for a PB on the Talybont Reservoir run. thanks flies!

Slowly does it..

Administrator — Tue, 05 May 2009 13:42:20 +0000

Mm, feeling a little sheepish, probably not unusual in Wales. In this case because of my failure to keep up running to any great degree. No 10k race in Bristol for me this weekend. I did manage about 3 miles today in relative comfort, mind you I might have changed my mind by tomorrow! Anyone for the Swansea 10k in September?? I’ve just signed up so that will be a spur to keep going. Here’s the link if you want to know more.

I spy with my little eye….

Administrator — Sun, 03 May 2009 22:36:39 +0000

…places beginning with "I".

In my case, India, Ireland, Ipswich and Italy - quite a broad range, culturally speaking! In February I travelled to Bodhgaya to attend the WBO International convention - what an experience. I’ve been to India before, but not to any Buddhist pilgrimage sites. It was quite something to process in silence (mostly!) in the early mornings to the Mahabodhi temple, along with 400 or so other members of the WBO/TBMSG and to spend time with Indian members of the Order, hearing about their lives and work. They are very inspired by the idea of the Dhammakranti or "Dharma Revolution" envisioned by Dr B K Ambedkar. Something that I brought back with me is a strong enthusiasm for seeing the potential for our practice of the Dharma - of Buddhism - to create a sort of revolution in the West, in terms of enabling people to get in touch with what is of real value in their lives and to live in accordance with that. I also brought back giardia but fortunately that didn’t last too long. At the end of March I was back in Dublin for a weekend and then up in Derry - a very enjoyable visit. At the start of April I was on a short but intense ordination retreat in Ipswich, very much enjoying the lovely countryside there and what a great public ordination at the Ipswich centre! And then in April back to Tuscany - not such good weather as 2 years ago, but still breathtakingly beautiful scenery, lots of quiet and plenty of interesting spots to visit. I particularly enjoyed the Etruscan museum in Volterra which contains a huge number of funerary urns, each carved with pictures or symbols of the journey to the afterlife and topped with a carving of the deceased reclining as if at a feast. Now I’m back in Wales and enjoying studying and hanging out with the community here. We’re fortunate to have Tejananda coming to stay for a few days to do some meditation teaching with us later in the week.