Whatever You Say, Say Nothing

Ten things someone somewhere will be doing at the time I die:

deciding what to have for supper

digging in their garden

reading a newspaper

wondering what their lover’s doing

feeling annoyed about the weather

worrying about a piece of work they haven’t finished

sunbathing

driving very fast in a car

getting married

writing a poem

Ok, here is the previously alluded-to bit about dealing with flies when you’re out running.  Yes, those winged things that hang around in big groups (ha ha accidentally typed ‘bug’ groups just then!) at this time of year.  We know they’re necessary for the breakdown of matter etc etc but, let’s be honest, nobody really likes them much (ok then, so let me know if you’ve got a pet one). So here’s the scenario: I’m out running on the road parallel to Talybont Reservoir - a beautiful spot with trees overhanging the road on one or both sides for several miles.  I’m enjoying the view.  I’m even enjoying running and have got to the point where I’ve worked up a respectable sweat. I’m not hyperventilating and my ankles, knees and hips all seem of a mind to support me.  It’s a lovely spring/summer evening and life feels very rich. Then a fly appears, in the vicinity of my face.  It likes me.  In fact it likes me a lot - much more than I like it, that’s for sure (ok, some artistic licence here in the form of projecting human feelings onto to insects in a somewhat emotive way).  It won’t go away - in fact it dances unerringly around my line of vision, attempting at intervals to land on my skin.  I’m swiping at the fly and this is interrupting the rhythm of my running to an alarming extent. I might even end up in the ditch (if you think this is an exaggeration, try waving your arms around in front of you while running. unstable, huh?) I’m starting to talk to it in a less than friendly manner, breaking more than one speech precept.  My rational mind knows that the fly is simply behaving in accordance with its nature.  It also has a lot more to fear from me than I do from it.  In a short time it will be gone.  Yet this small creature, behaving in this way, has the power to make me feel - I must be honest here - enraged.  It’s doing it on purpose.  Doesn’t it realise this is the one bit of the day I have to myself, my creative thinking time, my being-alone-with-my-reflections-on-the-day time ?? (yes. it’s dawning on me too - I’m reading too many "motivational" running books).  That fly is out to ruin my day and it’s going to pay.  Oh my god - its friends are joining in now!!  This is dangerous.  I’m speeding up now. In fact I’m heading for a PB on the Talybont Reservoir run.  thanks flies!

Mm, feeling a little sheepish, probably not unusual in Wales.  In this case because of my failure to keep up running to any great degree.  No 10k race in Bristol for me this weekend.  I did manage about 3 miles today in relative comfort, mind you I might have changed my mind by tomorrow! Anyone for the Swansea 10k in September??  I’ve just signed up so that will be a spur to keep going.  Here’s the link if you want to know more.

…places beginning with "I".

In my case, India, Ireland, Ipswich and Italy - quite a broad range, culturally speaking!  In February I travelled to Bodhgaya to attend the WBO International convention - what an experience.  I’ve been to India before, but not to any Buddhist pilgrimage sites.  It was quite something to process in silence (mostly!) in the early mornings to the Mahabodhi temple, along with 400 or so other members of the WBO/TBMSG and to spend time with Indian members of the Order, hearing about their lives and work.  They are very inspired by the idea of the Dhammakranti or "Dharma Revolution" envisioned by Dr B K Ambedkar. Something that I brought back with me is a strong enthusiasm for seeing the potential for our practice of the Dharma - of Buddhism - to create a sort of revolution in the West, in terms of enabling people to get in touch with what is of real value in their lives and to live in accordance with that.  I also brought back giardia but fortunately that didn’t last too long.  At the end of March I was back in Dublin for a weekend and then up in Derry - a very enjoyable visit.  At the start of April I was on a short but intense ordination retreat in Ipswich, very much enjoying the lovely countryside there and what a great public ordination at the Ipswich centre!  And then in April back to Tuscany - not such good weather as 2 years ago, but still breathtakingly beautiful scenery, lots of quiet and plenty of interesting spots to visit.  I particularly enjoyed the Etruscan museum in Volterra which contains a huge number of funerary urns, each carved with pictures or symbols of the journey to the afterlife and topped with a carving of the deceased reclining as if at a feast. Now I’m back in Wales and enjoying studying and hanging out with the community here.  We’re fortunate to have Tejananda coming to stay for a few days to do some meditation teaching with us later in the week.

Hooray - did it!  Sunday was, surprisingly, a beautiful day up in Newcastle and I completed the run in a grand time of 2 hours and 20 minutes!!  My legs don’t feel TOO bad now and I’m pretty happy to have survived. I can’t imagine how those people in fancy dress do it - big respect to all you pink panthers and scooby doos.  Thanks a million to all you generous people who sponsored me - it’ll be a real boost to our bursary fund at Tiratanaloka.  What next…? Mmm that remains to be seen…  I still have to find out what to wear when running outdoors in cold weather!

… 4 days to go and I’m not feeling hugely confident I have to say.  I’ve been wheezing like some leaky bellows for the last week or so, thanks to an allergy that’s triggered a bit of asthma.  I trundled round about 4 miles today (well, you’re not supposed to overdo it in the last week, are you?) at a rather leisurely pace, alarming innocent tourists with a noise like one of those film scenes where someone is inside a diving suit - remember that bit from The Graduate?  Luckily I couldn’t hear it myself as I was firmly plugged into my iPod listening to The Who (it was on shuffle - I had no control).  Hopefully all will be well on the day.  I’ve been talking to veterans (survivors?) of these sorts of races about what to wear if it’s wet and windy.  Apparently the done thing is to wear something to stop you getting soaked/frozen while you wait at the start which you then jettison at the side of the road as you go.  Imagine what this scene would look like to someone from another planet; hordes of people running along roads (slowly) for no apparent reason and flinging their clothes off as they go……  Anyway, I’m confident the wheeze will abate soon and I’ll be back to my old jogging pace.  Fingers crossed.  Hey, I’ve just found out I can have my finishing time texted to 3 mobile numbers automatically as the race ends!!  Leave a comment here if you’d like to be one!!

…or perhaps still and moving might be a better description of the last few weeks. My longest distance so far in terms of running is 9 miles - will it be enough to get me on schedule for 13 miles on 5th October??  My limiting factor now seems to be more in the knee department than the lung department which I feel is overall probably a good thing.  Someone said to me I might need to look out for my knees when running in the longer term.  I said "What longer term??" My target is 5th October which is not that far away (unless you are a moth, or some other small thing,  in which case it is many lifetimes away).  I guess though it would be good to keep up the gains I’ve made so far (getting into pairs of jeans that had been consigned to the back of the drawer, for instance).  Oh and yes - I did the Great Wales Run on 27th July - probably the hottest day of the year so far.  It was exciting, confusing and somewhat daunting to be running with so many people and I had to work hard with a tendency to think that everyone knew what they were doing except me. Is it seriously uncool to wear your iPod when running in a ‘proper’ race?  And what’s the etiquette re. disposing of plastic bottles?  I’m really grateful to Sharon, who drove me into Cardiff and dropped me off at the start point so i didn’t have to worry about parking the car as well.  The course was fab - running at one point over the barrage in Cardiff Bay with views of blue, blue sky and blue, blue sea.  And how did I do?  63 minutes - slow, but i didn’t stop!

Over in Ireland I enjoyed running round the scenic route (or the switchback road, as we used to call it) near Marble Hill in Donegal (5 miles, much up and down as the name suggests!).  In the last few days it’s been lovely running late in the afternoon along the Taff Trail above Talybont Reservoir, seeing the sun (a novelty in itself!) reflecting on the water and highlighting all the various shades of green on the hills.  Ok, so maybe it’s not all about getting into those old jeans.

So what have I been doing for the last week?  Resting on my laurels?  No!  Last week I managed 8 miles - very slowly - in the bucketing rain at Tiratanaloka.  It was hard going though and I felt as if my legs belonged to someone else (much older) at the end.  This is how wet it was - I was able to wring water from my shirt as I was running, and the rain running into my ears kept washing my iPod earbuds out!!

At the moment I’m in Colchester and am about to do a 5 mile run on a mixture of pavement (not nice, lots of noisy traffic) and roads (through an army firing range which always lends a frisson of excitement to the proceedings). 

I’ve entered the Great Wales Run, a 10K race in Cardiff, on 27th July so I can see what it’s like running with lots of other people on an unfamiliar route.  Lots of advice and encouragement from the lovely Dee yesterday which was really helpful.  And thanks a million if you’ve sponsored me!

Well, an interesting morning!  6 of us from the community decided to go to the gym this morning - a larger number than usual, so we had to go in 2 cars.  On the way there we were joking about needing to do a head count before we came home.  This turned out to be slightly less amusing when, 2 hours later in the middle of breakfast, we discovered we’d left someone behind….

As I was on the way back to collect her, a car travelling rather too fast in the opposite direction on our narrow country road removed my wing mirror and then carried on without even slowing down.  Grrr!!!   Well, all that got the adrenalin going in a way the gym could hardly match.  I do notice that my muscles complain strenuously if I exercise before about 9am - aches, cramp etc.  I think they have a point.

Back to pounding the roads tomorrow.  I was disconcerted to find that the distance along the back road from Brecon to Talybont is only 4 miles - 13 miles is starting to sound like a long, long way!!  Any encouraging tips or comments gratefully received from anyone out there.

Well, run of course.  In the wind and the rain.  So here’s the latest progress report: 2 days ago I managed to run to Nick’s house and back - a total of 6.4 miles - hooray!  The bad news…? The length of time it took me to do so - over an hour (about 67 minutes if we’re being totally precise).  Still, I did do it without stopping.  Today I ran (I use the term loosely) 5 miles at a slightly faster pace.  This was ok I think as I was feeling pretty tired.  In the good old days I would have stopped after about 5 minutes and decided to do something a bit less strenuous instead, like reading the paper.  Listening to music while I’m out really helps too as I used to find the sound of my own rather laboured breathing really off-putting.  Talybont reservoir looks very beautiful even in wild and wet weather so that’s an added bonus.

Coming soon: dealing with unskilful mental states that arise when flies buzz round your head when you’re running.

…. attempt to raise money by asking you to sponsor me to do the Great North Run in October.  OK, pause for a moment while those of you who know me pick yourselves up off the floor.  It’s true I have never been a runner and I’m getting on a bit for starting this sort of malarkey.

But the money will go to a good cause - the bursary fund at Tiratanaloka, which we use to help women to come on retreat here, who would not otherwise be able to afford the cost.  This year we had someone come all the way from South Africa (she paid her own travel expenses and some retreat costs as well) just to be on one of our retreats. 

Some very generous retreatants who have just finished a 2-week retreat here today donated £46 so I’m off to a good start.  It also means I have to do it now!!

If you wish, you can donate through the JustGiving website by clicking here.  They will also gather gift aid if you are a UK taxpayer.

I’ve currently managed to work my way up from 1 mile (embarrassing) to 5 miles (slightly less embarrassing) but there is still quite a way to go before October.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress!! 

I’m a little embarrassed my blog has been gathering such a thick layer of dust.  The reasons are several: 1) Blogsome doesn’t work very well with Safari so I’ve been thinking of moving to something else (rather pathetic excuse) 2) I felt a bit bad about neglecting the Tiratanaloka blog while continuing to write my own and, finally, 3) I rather lost my way in terms of why I was doing it and who I was doing it for.  This last is probably the main reason I haven’t written anything for so long.  If you’d like to see my (somewhat unspectacular!) photographs of my trip to Australia in March, then you can see them by looking here

If you have any thoughts about the point of non-anonymous, non-business-related blogging then I’d like to hear them and have another think about it all.  Thanks.